Submitted by Lise... from Wildomar (not verified) on September 9, 2008 - 2:12am.
Not too long ago, under the terms of marriage, women belonged to the men they were pre-arranged to marry. Less than half a century ago, people of different races could not marry. Marriage has been redefined several times over in the last hundred years, and hopefully we at least agree that most of it has been for the better.
As for this issue in particular, I'm wondering what exactly Mr. feels the "Hollywood/San Francisco...minority" is exploiting? If it's the 1,100+ rights afforded to married couples that aren't given to gay partners equally committed to each other, well... I guess it depends if you think those rights, when given to a gay couple, are used in a cruel and unjust manner (utilizing the definition of exploitation).
I can't speak much for the Hollywood/San Francisco noise-making minority, but as someone from a small town called Wildomar, right next to Murrieta, I feel pretty comfortable addressing his comments as a recent neighbor who wished he would have knocked on my door... so he could put a face to a person he feels would use the rights of marriage in a cruel and unjust manner. But truthfully, I don't think he'd see many differences between himself and myself. Unless Mr. Stucki isn't a hard-working individual who loves his partner, takes care of his family, volunteers his free time to bettering his community, and is an all-around giving person who has lived by the golden rule since childhood.
You see when I was a kid, I had a natural propensity to defend the children who were picked on for being different... perhaps the "puny minority?" To me, those kids needed a champion, to be protected. And I had the strength of character and quick wit to stand up to the school bully. My mother had raised me to believe we all had value (even the bullies), regardless of our differences. She told me that those differences were what make us unique and there was beauty in that. So while fitting in for me wasn’t difficult (I was, and still am an attractive, intelligent and good-natured individual), but watching those kids struggle was difficult. To this day, I live by the credo I lived by then. If I hear someone I’m spending time with say something disparaging, I’ll smile and politely suggest an alternative. “Yeah, she might look a little funny when she dances, but look at her enthusiasm!”
On a personal level I’ve rarely been confronted with prejudice (or if I was, it didn’t last very long… who we truly are as people says much more about us than the preconceptions of any given adjective). But there is one place in my life where I can’t seem to get a fair shake. You see, when puberty hit, I discovered myself to be in a minority that would define who I was in the government’s eyes, and it would also define the rights I would, or rather, would not be afforded.
I realize that if you aren't born gay or lesbian, you would have absolutely no way of accurately understanding what it feels like, just like try as I may have, I never could "feel" straight (even with it being role-modeled all around me). And because my American dream has a family and a home and a cat and a dog in it, I really did try to be straight.
It felt wrong, in every bit of my being it felt wrong, even with men I adored as individuals and thought to be extremely handsome. In fact, the first time I kissed a woman, I cried because I knew that that’s what kissing was supposed to feel like… the way my friends had described it growing up. It felt like home and butterflies and happiness all rolled up into one. It was the first time I didn’t feel sexually broken; I cried I was so happy. Then, very shortly after, I cried because I knew that most of the people in this country wouldn’t value me the way the kids in the school yard didn’t value those kids who were “different”. I was “different,” and unless I could go to the homes of all 300,000,000 million Americans and let them meet me for themselves, I was going to need some champions of my own if I was going to live that American dream.
I guess in writing this, I'm hoping that there are people out there, even though they might not be gay themselves, who believe that I should have the legal rights to support my American dream, even if it looks a little different to their own. And believe me when I say, it’s only a little different. You know what’s most important to me? Beyond the plethora of financial protections afforded married couples, I want the right to sit by the hospital bed of my partner if she were to get into an accident (or vice-versa). I can't tell you how afraid I am that one day something would happen and I would be denied the right to be that support for her and to tell her I love her one last time. You can call it whining if you want, but anyone who loves someone should know that the thought of being purposefully denied that is terrifying, and worthy of shouting about.
Please hear me when I say I'm not asking for a religious ceremony, or any recognition from a church. But there are over a thousand rights granted to married couples. And if there truly is a separation of church and state... something the Constitution says there is... I don't see why my family should not be ENCOURAGED to be committed to each other and protected by law in the same way our heterosexual counterparts are. I believe that denying my family those rights to be more cruel and unjust than granting them ever could be. Because at the end of the day, Mr. Stucki's entire life will never be turned upside down if this proposition passes, but mine could... and so could the lives of hundreds of thousands of others like me.
I don't believe this is a black or white matter, but I do believe that we as a people should honor the rights of all individuals to pursue happiness as long as it doesn't infringe upon the rights of others. Mr. Stucki's marriage (or right to marry) and YOUR marriage (or right to marry) will not change. Honor what you have. I celebrate your right to do so. I'm just asking that you honor who I am as well.
If you are fundamentally unsure of what to do, please don’t vote on this item… reversing it could take my lifetime or longer. If you want to recognize that people like me deserve protection under the law, please vote NO to proposition 8. Oh, and since my job has currently taken me to the state of Rhode Island for the next couple of months preceding the election, if anyone feels like knocking on some doors in my stead, I would appreciate it more than you could possibly know.
No on Proposition 8
Not too long ago, under the terms of marriage, women belonged to the men they were pre-arranged to marry. Less than half a century ago, people of different races could not marry. Marriage has been redefined several times over in the last hundred years, and hopefully we at least agree that most of it has been for the better.
As for this issue in particular, I'm wondering what exactly Mr. feels the "Hollywood/San Francisco...minority" is exploiting? If it's the 1,100+ rights afforded to married couples that aren't given to gay partners equally committed to each other, well... I guess it depends if you think those rights, when given to a gay couple, are used in a cruel and unjust manner (utilizing the definition of exploitation).
I can't speak much for the Hollywood/San Francisco noise-making minority, but as someone from a small town called Wildomar, right next to Murrieta, I feel pretty comfortable addressing his comments as a recent neighbor who wished he would have knocked on my door... so he could put a face to a person he feels would use the rights of marriage in a cruel and unjust manner. But truthfully, I don't think he'd see many differences between himself and myself. Unless Mr. Stucki isn't a hard-working individual who loves his partner, takes care of his family, volunteers his free time to bettering his community, and is an all-around giving person who has lived by the golden rule since childhood.
You see when I was a kid, I had a natural propensity to defend the children who were picked on for being different... perhaps the "puny minority?" To me, those kids needed a champion, to be protected. And I had the strength of character and quick wit to stand up to the school bully. My mother had raised me to believe we all had value (even the bullies), regardless of our differences. She told me that those differences were what make us unique and there was beauty in that. So while fitting in for me wasn’t difficult (I was, and still am an attractive, intelligent and good-natured individual), but watching those kids struggle was difficult. To this day, I live by the credo I lived by then. If I hear someone I’m spending time with say something disparaging, I’ll smile and politely suggest an alternative. “Yeah, she might look a little funny when she dances, but look at her enthusiasm!”
On a personal level I’ve rarely been confronted with prejudice (or if I was, it didn’t last very long… who we truly are as people says much more about us than the preconceptions of any given adjective). But there is one place in my life where I can’t seem to get a fair shake. You see, when puberty hit, I discovered myself to be in a minority that would define who I was in the government’s eyes, and it would also define the rights I would, or rather, would not be afforded.
I realize that if you aren't born gay or lesbian, you would have absolutely no way of accurately understanding what it feels like, just like try as I may have, I never could "feel" straight (even with it being role-modeled all around me). And because my American dream has a family and a home and a cat and a dog in it, I really did try to be straight.
It felt wrong, in every bit of my being it felt wrong, even with men I adored as individuals and thought to be extremely handsome. In fact, the first time I kissed a woman, I cried because I knew that that’s what kissing was supposed to feel like… the way my friends had described it growing up. It felt like home and butterflies and happiness all rolled up into one. It was the first time I didn’t feel sexually broken; I cried I was so happy. Then, very shortly after, I cried because I knew that most of the people in this country wouldn’t value me the way the kids in the school yard didn’t value those kids who were “different”. I was “different,” and unless I could go to the homes of all 300,000,000 million Americans and let them meet me for themselves, I was going to need some champions of my own if I was going to live that American dream.
I guess in writing this, I'm hoping that there are people out there, even though they might not be gay themselves, who believe that I should have the legal rights to support my American dream, even if it looks a little different to their own. And believe me when I say, it’s only a little different. You know what’s most important to me? Beyond the plethora of financial protections afforded married couples, I want the right to sit by the hospital bed of my partner if she were to get into an accident (or vice-versa). I can't tell you how afraid I am that one day something would happen and I would be denied the right to be that support for her and to tell her I love her one last time. You can call it whining if you want, but anyone who loves someone should know that the thought of being purposefully denied that is terrifying, and worthy of shouting about.
Please hear me when I say I'm not asking for a religious ceremony, or any recognition from a church. But there are over a thousand rights granted to married couples. And if there truly is a separation of church and state... something the Constitution says there is... I don't see why my family should not be ENCOURAGED to be committed to each other and protected by law in the same way our heterosexual counterparts are. I believe that denying my family those rights to be more cruel and unjust than granting them ever could be. Because at the end of the day, Mr. Stucki's entire life will never be turned upside down if this proposition passes, but mine could... and so could the lives of hundreds of thousands of others like me.
I don't believe this is a black or white matter, but I do believe that we as a people should honor the rights of all individuals to pursue happiness as long as it doesn't infringe upon the rights of others. Mr. Stucki's marriage (or right to marry) and YOUR marriage (or right to marry) will not change. Honor what you have. I celebrate your right to do so. I'm just asking that you honor who I am as well.
If you are fundamentally unsure of what to do, please don’t vote on this item… reversing it could take my lifetime or longer. If you want to recognize that people like me deserve protection under the law, please vote NO to proposition 8. Oh, and since my job has currently taken me to the state of Rhode Island for the next couple of months preceding the election, if anyone feels like knocking on some doors in my stead, I would appreciate it more than you could possibly know.